Simplifying life for your Nervous System

I have had a wonderful, but busy week! This is why you are getting your weekly post on a Friday and not a Monday. But all week long I have been thinking about this…. Life gets busy and full and that is GOOD news. A part of taking care of my nervous system in those busy and full moments is simplifying. Giving myself permission to simplify. I could have beat myself up for getting to this post so late in the week, but that wouldn’t have helped me get to it any sooner. Or I could have forced myself to write it earlier in the week, but that wouldn’t have been good for me either. A brain can only do so much, and this week I accomplished quite a lot.

I often talk about our nervous systems like a bank account. We make deposits that are activities or environments that help us in feeling good by boosting certain brain chemicals. We make withdrawals when we encounter both stressors and really fun things that take up alot of our brain. This week I had so many fun and wonderful things, the truth is it has been the past 2 weeks….lots of withdrawals on my nervous system. Couple that with daylight savings and my hubby starting an after school project (meaning less time for movement and self care) and my nervous system was feeling a certain kind of way.

But here is another nervous system/money analogy for you. Someone once told me, your brain won’t let you overdraft. They were speaking in terms of trauma, meaning if a certain memory is too painful or too much for your system, you simply won’t remember it (this is well documented in trauma research as well). And that is why I simplify. Sure, I can push myself to my limits. But in many ways my brain won’t let me overdraft. What does that look like? I can’t be the me I want to be anymore when I’m pushing those limits. I’m cranky, less fun to be around, snappy, I take everything personally and I don’t think as clearly. Not so great.

So this week I simplified and I talk about this with clients ALL THE TIME! What are some things your brain is holding, some parts of your mental load, that you can simplify to free up more brain space, more nervous system credit, for the fun stuff?

Here are my top simplifying tips (from both my own life and my client’s!)

Groceries/Meal Plans

-To start with, have a plan! Whether you have go to meals or you use a food service like Blue Apron, just please have a plan! And write this plan down somewhere, that way this information isn’t taking up precious space in your head.

This has gotten simpler for me recently. We tend to stick to the same sequence of meals several nights a week with a few nights of variety. What does this look like?

Friday: Order Out

Saturday: Varies (frozen foods, eat out, family gatherings)

Sunday: Cooking for fun night (A Sunday Sauce, pizza on the Ooni oven, grilling)

Monday: A simple recipe (frittata, salad with bread)

Tuesday: Tacos

Wednesday: Ravioli or Pasta with Salad

Thursday: Breakfast for dinner (eggs, french toast, pancakes)

This serves us in a couple of ways. It is soooooo much less for me to think about. It leaves some room for cooking for fun because that does bring me joy. (Just not on a weeknight). It has made our grocery bill a bit more predictable, leaving more wiggle room for a last minute let’s order out moment. My son is a pretty selective eater. We noticed at his old daycare (where bless their hearts they served lunch) he did really well with the “schedule” of food. I like throwing in variety because I do want to encourage his palate to expand but I also like when he eats dinner. This gives us the best of both worlds.

Laundry/Clothes

This is such a thing in our house. 2 kids, 2 adults with 2 jobs each and laundry all day everyday. As I am currently wearing maternity clothes I have noticed something. I have less clothes to choose from and getting dressed is SO MUCH EASIER. I appreciate this ease, because mornings are not so easy! I do find that I have to do laundry (for myself) a bit more, but when putting clothes away or grabbing them out of a drawer to get ready, everything feels easy. Very worth the trade off for me. As I look at my kids’ clothing, we have a ton of stuff. A combo of hand me downs, things they have outgrown that I haven’t sorted through yet and just more “stuff”. And you know what? The whole laundry, fold, put away process for them takes me much longer.

I recently spoke with a client who stated that she had someone come in and organize her children’s clothes and she found laundry to be so much easier once things were cleared out, so it isn’t just me! I also saw a post from Elyse Myers (she is on instagram and a very funny and relatable follow) talking about how presidents have only a few outfits (in multiple numbers) to choose from, to free up brain space!!!

Toy Storage:

I get that rotating toys is a good idea, I even agree with it. But let me tell you how that goes in our house. I put a toy in the bin in the back of our basement and it instantly becomes the most popular toy in our house. And I can’t even get into what happens if I donate a toy. Months later my son will request a super specific toy and 9 out of 10 times it is a toy I have donated. So we do mini toy rotations and we do donate toys, but this isn’t the full solution for us.

At the same time seeing tons of toys everywhere overstimulates me quickly. We have a basement where most of the toys are meant to stay, but you know how that goes. So what do I do?

I use a ton of baskets, particularly baskets with lids. The baskets with lids allow me to put things away and then legit put a lid on it so I don’t have to look at it! I love these for the living room and upstairs. In the basement we have 2 big shelves and I use baskets that organize toys into different categories. This helps my kids clean up (sometimes) and most of all, it allows things to seemingly “look” organized. A huge relief for my brain.

To do list Dos and Don’ts :

To start with (and this is similar to meal planning) please keep a to do list of sorts. You can check out my reel on instagram about my 4-square to do list or do any other version that serves you. The whole point of the list isn’t to monitor how much you’ve gotten done, it’s to take all of that information out of your brain. I make a 4 square to do list every Monday morning, where I brain dump everything I would like to accomplish. This isn’t to force me to do it all, it is to free up space in my brain. If I don’t do this, guess what happens? I wake up at 3 in the morning running through this mental list in my head, not fun.

And with all of these to do list items…give yourself grace! Sometimes the best thing you can do for your brain is decide that a certain task is left until later in the week or next week. You wouldn’t intentionally overdraw your bank account right? So don’t do it to yourself!