Overstimulation versus Dysregulation
“Overstimulation and dysregulation” are big fancy science words that I want to break down for you in this post. They are often used interchangeably, but the truth is they are two different things! The distinction is important for a few reasons. One, once you know the difference you will feel more empowered that you can actually have a role in your response to stress. Two, NO ONE IS REGULATED ALL OF THE TIME. That is in capital letters because it is one of the most important parts of my messaging! You will get overstimulated, which can lead to you getting dysregulated and THAT IS NORMAL. The more awareness you have, the less “victim” you will feel to these occurrences and the quicker you will recover. But before we get any deeper, lets define these two terms.
Overstimulation refers to the amount of sensory input that feels good to your body, it is pretty much your threshold. We all have different thresholds, there is not a “superior” setting. Stimulation (in this context) refers to sensory input. Think how loud, how bright, how smelly, etc. Dysregulation is when you have a strong nervous system response. What I mean by that is a fight, flight, freeze or shut down reaction. Your nervous system interprets what is happening as a big threat to you and it responds in a big way. Remember, your nervous system exists to keep you safe, to make sure you aren’t being eaten by a bear in the woods. That is the level of response dysregulation can cause. The “problem” is sometimes we interpret an email from our boss or our kids asking for 6 million snacks as the bear in the woods.
How do you know what is overstimulation versus dysregulation? You know your nervous system well. When you are overstimulated you will feel uncomfortable and potentially stressed, you will feel on edge. When you are dysregulated, it feels completely out of your control. You snap at your kids and you don’t know why you yelled. You give your partner an attitude and you didn’t mean it. You roll your eyes or deep breathe after a meeting when you didn’t really want that to come out. Your nervous system has taken over.
How does one go from overstimulation to dysregulation? A few ways…. One, if you are chronically overstimulated without any relief, it will be easier for you to become dysregulated. If you experience a big surge of overstimulation (something well outside the norm of your daily life) you are more likely to become dysregulated as well.
But another point I want to make is, overstimulation and dysregulation aren’t alllllll bad…..
Lots of fun events can be overstimulating and this all depends on YOUR personal thresholds. I love when my kids are so cute and playing together, but that can be loud. I love going out to dinner with my husband, but that can be noisy. Summer BBQs are so much fun, but talking to all those different people at once while watching my kids can be overstimulating. These are all fun things, that I want to do, but they require me and my nervous system to process sensory input.
Lets talk about thresholds. I have lower thresholds for noise and visual stimuli than my husband. For me, socializing is fun and something I value, but I can’t do it endlessly. My husband has really high thresholds (in comparison to me) for this type of input. For him, staying home and having down time is something he values, but it doesn’t feel good to do it endlessly. The power is in the knowing of this about ourselves and each other.
When I have a lot of social events on the calendar, I consider my sensory thresholds. I plan time to give myself some more coping chemicals through the tried and true sensory tools that work for me. When my husband says he wants to go out with friends, I understand that meets his sensory needs. When I am driving home from work and I have had a busy “sensory” day (for example, talking to lots of people), I take a quiet drive to let my brain settle. When we attend a wedding or social event that is overwhelming to my senses, I hold my husbands hand a little tighter and chew gum or have a crunchy snack. This is how I manage overstimulation so I don’t become dysregulated.
And because it is so important, I will say it again….NO ONE IS CALM ALL OF THE TIME. Life is overstimulating, in some beautiful ways and some not so fun ways. You want to take care of yourself and your nervous system, but things come up. So you get dysregulated. Sometimes things entirely outside of our control happen and dysregulation occurs.
Our power is in knowing our thresholds, knowing our signs of dysregulation and using that awareness to guide ourselves back to our version of regulated as often as possible. Not to be the king or queen of calm, but so we get to be present and enjoy all the things our wonderful lives have to offer!
