Your Nervous System and Your Mindset
This past weekend my family and I went to Boston.
A little backstory……I love Boston. In middle school I went on a class trip to Boston and decided I wanted to live there one day. Fast forward to highschool, I was a nanny for a wonderful family. I loved being in their home and the mom was an occupational therapist. I had already considered OT as a career, but this lovely home, that felt so good me, sealed the deal. Boston University had a program for Occupational Therapy, it was all coming together.
But not without some obstacles. My guidance counselor didn’t feel Boston University was a good fit for me (he didn’t think I would get in). He was encouraging me to apply to more schools. I did apply to 2 other schools, but I couldn’t afford to pay the application price for more than that. I applied Early Decision to BU and did not get accepted. That was a soul crushing day. I applied again during regular enrollment and got in! Then there was the concern of paying for BU, my family could not afford to pay or help with my tuition. I was able to get some financial aid money and lots of student loans. Throughout my entire time in Boston I worked a job while going to school to cover living expenses.
When we were in Boston this weekend I remembered this entire backstory. I thought alot about that 17 year old girl and how much drive and determination she had to keep going. I was younger and I had this you can’t tell me no, I have big dreams and I’m making them happen energy about me. This energy was my nervous system “autopilot” in many ways. It made space for the thoughts I had. The thoughts led to what I believed to be true. This led to me taking certain actions that yielded the results I wanted.
What does any of this have to do with the nervous system? It is the autopilot piece, the way in which your brain functions that impacts you SO much on a daily basis. At 17 my setting was the world is my oyster, I can dream big and I can make those big dreams happen.
What this trip made clear to me is my nervous system autopilot is a little different these days. At almost 40, I’m married (to a wonderful human), have 2 children and we are expecting our third baby this summer. Dreaming big has shifted to safety and responsibility. I understand why, I do have a lot more responsibility and the actions I take impact many more people.
But I did start a business last year and I do have big dreams for where that business can go. When my autopilot is “play it safe, you CAN’T dream big or your big dreams won’t come true”, it has an impact on me. It creates a ridiculous amount of fear every time I want to do something or invest in my business. Why bother if that is the autopilot?
If that was my autopilot back in 2000-2001 things would have turned out different. I would have listened to my guidance counselor and not tried a second application to BU. Now back in that time I would love to say I felt safe enough in my nervous system to keep trying. In retrospect, it was more youth, impulsivity, desperation and even some naivete. That belief, that drive to dream big and believe, created a very different mindset cycle.
And now at 40, I can dream big and believe from a place of safety. I’m not doing myself or my business any favors by telling myself all the reasons I can’t succeed in the ways that I want to. And for all 17 year old me did to get to and graduate from BU, I’m not doing her any favors either.
In my new mindset/nervous system cycle. My autopilot is “I am safe to dream big, big dreams can come true”. That creates thoughts/feelings and beliefs of confidence and pride in what I’m doing now. That will lead to actions that put me and my business out there MORE and create more opportunities. The results…MY BUSINESS CAN REACH ALL THE DREAMS I HAVE FOR IT. Do you see how that works?
This was more than a mindset shift. Being in Boston brought back memories, both the memories of good times past and of that feeling. The feeling of a younger and in some ways more inspired version of me. My brain and nervous system remembered that internal setting. This is where the "aha" moment came from. It's more than think a better thought, it's embody that thought. The 17 year old me left an imprint on my nervous system. Being in Boston pulled that imprint back up to the front of my mind.
The question now becomes, what is your autopilot? What are you telling yourself everyday to be true about you and your life? How is this impacting you? If you shifted your nervous system to a new setting how would you think? And would these new thoughts lead to new feelings and beliefs? That would cause you to change how you act and the results you get?
It's so much more than change your thoughts. Your thoughts are a part of the cycle that imprints on your nervous system. What is your autopilot setting? How can we shift it? That's where the real change lives.
